Well, it all started back in the 80s....((cue flashback music))

I have moved around quite a bit (no, my dad was NOT in the military, at least not at that point), but i have spent the most time in the beautiful Garden State. I currently reside in the VA, and like it except for the food, which is crap.

Occupation: I'd like to buy a vowel. I've always enjoyed writing, and while I didn't do all of my homework growing up, I got good grades. It's all about working the system, people. I've been told I'm pretty darned creative (channeled for both good and bad), but have flitted around a bit. Some call it picky, I say selective. Potato, potato, right?

I told this guy in my freshman comp class in college that I'm going to be a famous novelist, and he laughed and said something about delusions of grandeur. When it comes true, it won't be just delusions. Ha on that prematurely balding mofo!

Heroes: my parents, Oprah, Chelsea Handler, David Sedaris, Lil Kim, Lady Sovereign, Harry Truman, Tyra Banks, all those fools mentioned in _How to Win Friends and Influence People_, PEREZ HILTON, Joy Behar, and all the other bias who came from nothing and built an empire.
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