Bethy's World

Cable is the shiat. No diggity. No doubt.

C&C's "Everybody Dance Now" was just on the 90s channel, and the pop-ups ranged from "[band member] died of meningitis in 1995" to "[band member] launched unsuccessful solo career." Um, downer. What if that flopper was watching?? Can you think of a better moment to have a Brad Renfro moment? Cause I can't.

It's the little things. Really.

Daylight savings, bitches.

So yesterday it came to my attention that we rolled our clocks back an hour, or "[fell] back," if you will (won't you, please?). This was somewhat of a surprise, since the last few weeks were freaking hyphy at work and it was like nose2grindstone4rillz proper, and that's where the focus was directed. Mainly.

I am always delighted by this fall-back phenomenon. It's like the universe reaches out, "here, have an hour to sleep in. When you wake up, you will think, 'normally I would be at work at this time.' But no, at home in bed instead." = awesome.

Kind of like calling in sick when you know all those other suckers are toiling away and you're straight chilling, watching all the Tyra show and daytime crapola you can handle (fully loaded with commercials encouraging you to get your GED/bail bond/accident attorney). "Lessons from Judge Joe Brown" coming soon.

There's a trade-off, however. When you roll out of worky-work at the usual hour, it's dark. Um, so? People didn't army-crawl out of primordial sludge and build shelters fully-loaded with electric lighting for nothing ("Treatise on Why Camping Blows" to follow).

Professor, what's another word for pirate treasure?

Reflections on Pumpkin Day:

November 1st has to be the worst day to do the walk of shame (next to March 18th I suppose).

I can see why many girls take advantage of getting to dress as slutty as possible. It's a way to live out a fantasy, be something they might not be able to be outwardly 364 days of the year.

How come I don't feel the need to decorate for any holiday? It just seems like a ha$$le. When I first got married, my mom was kind of appalled that I didn't give a flip about decorating for Christmas. I explained that I wasn't opposed to the idea, I just didn't want to have to do all the work putting it up, taking it down, and handling storage logistics. If he wanted to do that, he could. Mom said:

• that was kind of sad;
• "What's wrong with you? We always had nice Christmases for you girls. It's not like you're scarred for life;"
• that I should create my own "family" traditions;
• and make it "special" for him.

You know Martha Stewart is divorced, too? And obvs she has mad decorating skillz, yo. So much for that notion.

About a month ago I came home and our house was all Halloween-y. When I commented on my roommate's handiwork, she replied, "oh, just wait until Christmas. I have 3 trees." And my first thought? 'Can't wait to see January's electric bill...'

The World is a Vampire.

How do you reconcile time? Some conflicting thoughts:

• Sometimes it seems like time goes so fast--weekends, holidays, college, fun trips..and then suddenly you find yourself reminiscing to a 15-year old how Smashing Pumpkins' "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" was the shiat back in the dizz-ay.
• And look at you like, "UM, no." You know...like you used to give your parents when they'd mention "The Howdy Doody Show" or get that far-off look as they waxed on about The Mamas & The Oedipus Papas.
• Navigating the corporate world in your 20s, however, age discrimination can feel really present and prevalent.
• A lot of that probably depends on the industry you're in. Mark Zuckerberg, the Facebook creator? They may snicker at his hoodie and sneaker-wearing, but he signs their checks, so they probably keep that in check.
• Speaking of Facebook and this mid late (agh!) age-limbo, seeing peers' wedding pictures and studio pics of their kids, who keep getting older and older, omg?
• Being married and divorced before 30.
• I could have babysat the newest girls on America's Next Top Model? Twenties. Mid-twenties. Late-twenties. Despite all my rage.

Back to the Future. Yo.

So here we are. This b*log was created a while back, but the content was wiped out because? New chapter.

Have you ever stood back and looked at your life or some aspect thereof and thought, 'wow, I can't believe this?' Not necessarily in a straight good or bad way, but just one that gives you pause when you think about it. Such as, "wow, I can't believe I am taking a shower in a shed in Mexico that's outfitted with a hose slung through a hole in the boards," or, "wow, I can't believe I have moved 16 times in 27 years, and none of those were military-related."

Or my recent favorite, "wow, I can't believe there are so many fa-reaks out there dating," especially considering I thought I'd never have to date again: happily. never. after. Which leads to discussions with my mom that prompt questions like, "what's a holla-back girl?" Which is slightly less awkward than the time she asked what a Dirty Sanchez is. Wow, I can't believe we are having this conversation.